Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Will sex destroy Tiger?

Aside from his family, a Perkins manager, a porn star named Holly, a cocktail waitress, a model and a couple of female nightclub executives, none of us ever knew Tiger Woods.

Still, there existed this image that always followed the man that transcended race and even humanity, in which he came off as a Buddha-like figure that was so much better than us.




You figured Tiger had his obsessions, but they centered around Jack Nicklaus’ dominance of the record books. Woods, you imagined, sat at home each night with his wife, kids and dog, sipping on a Perrier and watching Dancing with the Stars while he lectured his young children about the importance of following the right path so they could one day surpass their father and become trillionaires.

He was always in bed by 10, awake by 5. After shaving before sunrise, he never left stubble in the sink.

The realization that that vision wasn’t any more real than Bernie Madoff‘s investment returns is stunning.

Yet there is this prevailing notion that, in time, we won’t care about mistress No. 10, and Tiger will return to the course and remind us that he’s an even better golfer than lover.

But as every additional sleazy detail that we shouldn’t know about Tiger Woods is linked across the planet, it’s clear that Tiger’s personal life was every bit as intense as his professional life.

If you believe these hordes of mistresses that are getting their 15 minutes of fame thanks to a sloppy Woods, Tiger obsessed over sex. He called women at the crack of dawn for quickies in a church parking lot. He trolled family eateries for employees who would undoubtedly overlook the fact that he was a married man because he’s Tiger.

He loved “crazy Ambien sex,” according to one mistress, which also makes Woods a substance abuser. Getting a hallucination high off a sleeping pill isn’t that much different than Tiger enjoying LSD with sex.

Of course, it’s Tiger’s world, and all of us passing judgment on Woods have our own skeletons in the closet.

Yet we cared about Tiger because of his masterful ability on a golf course. So what happens now that half of his world has been annihilated, and how will that affect him in the mental game of golf?

Tiger worked so hard to sculpt this family-man image when he would have been so much smarter to stay single and live his true life in the open. It’s not like his secret life was so secret. He picked up women in public and sent text messages and e-mails that would make Bill Clinton blush. It took just one click for those e-mails and texts to go public. Now, he’ll forever have the paparazzi watching his every move.

Welcome to Brad Pitt’s world, where you don’t hold a hand without it being splashed on the cover of every tabloid across the globe.

If Tiger’s marriage is dissolved, then he can go ahead and become a Derek Jeter-like playboy and enjoy all the Ambien and women his heart desires.

If he tries to save his marriage, he’s in a bind. It’s not like his sexual desires will suddenly dissipate. Yet he can no longer trust any woman he meets to keep an affair secret. He’ll become the poster boy for potential extortion.

Tiger has one of the most recognizable faces in the world, so he can’t meet women anonymously.

Perhaps a new and improved Tiger will be satisfied watching his reported porn star mistress, Holly Sampson, and her friends on pay-per-view when he’s in hotels during tournaments. Perhaps not.

Now, we’ll find out whether Tiger will be the Tiger of old on the course despite his world falling apart.

Did he need these sexual escapades to keep his life in some sort of balance? Will the intense scrutiny he’s never faced before in his life cloud his mind while he’s teeing off at Augusta?’

It was so much more satisfying for everyone, especially Tiger, when we pictured a Buddha and not a man.

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